Beneath the Stars

Bridging The Gap

2010-01-20T10:00:00.000+08:00

The day has come, so as I've promised, here we go...

(http://theproperego.blogspot.com)
*click*

The 3 Day Countdown

2010-01-17T16:30:00.001+08:00

Dear readers, I'm sorry to have abandoned this blog as I have been anonymously blogging on another site for almost a year now. However, the anonymity of my identity on that blog has been compromised and now, the rise of a new blog is imminent. It with be co-authored with my alter ego, whichever that may be. The finishing touches to the layout and organisation of that blog is in progress and its URL will be announced here on the 20th of January. We're really excited and look forward for you to join us there! It's only 3 sleeps away. See you all really soon! xx

Just Married

2009-10-09T01:20:00.000+08:00

Whoops, seems like I've almost forgotten that I've a blog here. Well, life's been good. I'm currently on my last semester in uni and I hope that I'll scrape through and pass everything and finally graduate!

Been quite involved with Guild activities. The Guild's what we call the student council/union here in Western Australia. I've realised that we're the only ones who call it the Guild; others call it the Union or something like that. Anyway, I'm not on the council, but am just an ordinary active member who did some campaigning for them for the current student elections. It's swell and I've been participating in fundraisers and stuff like that. And just today, I got married! Naw, not for real. It was a fake marriage. In fact, you know what blind dates are hey? Well, this was something like that, but it was a blind marriage. Yup, I didn't know who I was getting wed to until 15 minutes before the ceremony. It was hilarious! I barely know my wifey and it must've been the most unglamorous wedding ever! We were totally underdressed under the scorching hot sun, wearing sunnies. Can you imagine? I think the only convincingly dressed person in the ceremony was the priest. And at the exchanging of rings, we asked 2 guests to lend us their rings! Geeeps! I felt quite embarassed that most of my classmates were there to witness everything. They were nice though, and even brought me to the tavern later to celebrate.

I'm surprised at how fast news spread. I went into lab and the rest of my classmates were congratulating me. I couldn't help but laugh when my lecturer did the same. He's a really serious guy, I'm often intimidated by him. Them cheeky classmates must've told him, but left out the "fake" information.

But yeah, that's how I've been spending my time away from the books lately; silly, but memorable activities and events... Gosh, I'm gonna miss uni life.

And talk about missing: Darn I miss home...

Final Approach

2009-05-30T12:00:00.002+08:00

Exams are just 'round the corner, and what's a better reason to procrastinate than updating the blog? I realised that there's so much to do, anything that has nothing to do with the books; ie new facebook apps, old videos, school photos, drawing, cleaning the room, catching up with friends, burning CDs, ... the list goes on.

I've only 2 papers, one on the 4th and the other on the 8th of June. So in 2 weeks from now, I'm officially on winter hols! Staying here for 2 weeks cuz the parents will be visiting, and will be returning to KL on the 28th June. Will then be flying over to Canberra for a student conference for a week in mid July. That should be fun! Heard that Canberra's boring, but I'll be the judge of that. And hey, having over a hundred students bunking together in a city... I really don't think it could be that bad, right? We'll see, we'll see...

Finals finals... Sigh. Wish me luck! :)

Freaky Friday

2009-03-21T16:00:00.000+09:00

Last night, I went to Freo for the Fremantle Prison torchlight tour. Definitely not for the faint hearted! I learned something that night: I'm sensitive, emotional, and courage deficient.

The entrance to the prison.

The tour started at 9:30pm, and our group had around 30 people.

It started off with us all being crammed onto this bench. This is the first room where the convicts were brought to and made to sit stark naked on that bench. One by one, the prisoners would be inspected before they were allowed into the next room for a shower.

One of the prison cell blocks.

I think it has a really spooky look to it. That building in the middle with long windows is the chapel. It's still currently being used, for weddings! Oh gosh, imagine being wed in a prison chapel!

We were then brought into the cell block. It's multi-levelled, exactly like what you see in the movies. The net was installed after one of the inmates commited suicide. After she told us this, there was a loud scream from the upper floor. Naturally, I was frightened and noticed that people started to move away from me. I looked up and to my horror, directly above me was a human figure caught in the net! Immediately, I screamed and ran! Luckily I had my friends to hug and comfort me. :(

Next was the kitchen, where I didn't listen to what the tour guide said nor did I take any pictures as I was recovering from the trauma. But while she showed us pictures of when the inmates were working in the kitchen, she said that she liked a particular picture of the inmates baking bread. She liked it because there was fresh bread in it, but unfortunately, because the doctors believed that fresh bread was an aphrodisiac, the bread was left for 3-4 days to go stale before they were given to the prisoners. How sad. :(

We visited the area where the prisoners were whipped with a ninetails whip with hooks at the ends. I don't think I need to elaborate on what the hooks were for. And as if that wasn't enough, salt was rubbed into the wounds after the prisoners were flogged. Ouch! :(

Solitary confinement was our next stop. Double doors, sound proof rooms. Prisoners spent 23 hours a day and up to 28 days at a stretch in here. Then all of a sudden, a door opened and an "inmate" ran out shouting, talking to himself, crazed. Again, I freaked out a little. :(

Then we progressed on to the gallows. Kim and I sat this one out. We waited outside while the rest of the group toured the room where prisoners were hung. After 2 minutes, Krystal came out to join us. I don't blame her, I would think that it's a very depressing and traumatizing room to be in. People died in there! Some may say that it's such a waste that I didn't go in to at least see how the room looked like, but I'm thankful that I didn't. Just looking at the other sections of the prison was so distressing that I'll be happy if I don't get nightmares about it. :(

After we gathered again, we were brought into the other cell blocks. There was a loud banging noise of steel gates and a scream from the upper level again. And again, I lost it. I ducked, put my arms over my head, and ran while yelling in fear. After collecting myself, I held onto Krystal's hand while the "inmate" from the upper level told us a story, of which I didn't listen to cuz it was a horror story of what happened to one of the inmates. Then Krystal moved to my right (she was previously on my left) and started swearing and cried. That scared me even more. I hugged her and kept my eyes closed.

Our final stop was the chapel. Though we were in a sacred place, I still didn't feel very comfortable until we finally left the prison. In my opinion, having to spend time in prison is far worse than death. Death is an immediate end to one's life, probably just a very sharp pain before one dies, but imprisonment is a lengthy torture. It destroys the mind, soul, and blows out the light of hope in our hearts. Overall, the visit to the prison was a truly memorable experience, though not a very enjoyable one.

This was the last picture I took - the stairwell in the cell block. It's also the last picture that I'll ever take with my beloved Sony Cybershot. Why? ...

After the prison tour, we were walking on the street towards the stretch of cafes and nightclubs in Freo, and we crossed paths with a group of aboriginals. For no apparent reason, one of the bastards pushed me so hard that I fell to the ground. I dropped and broke my camera. And while trying to get up, another asshole kicked me. Like seriously, WTF?!! Immediately, Vanessa started hurling very strong adjectives at them. This scared Krystal, cuz she was brought up from a rural part of Australia and said that these fucktards would actually even take a swing at girls. Thank goodness there were a couple sane ones in their dipshit group who apologised and walked away.

So if you think that you've had a worse day, please step right up!
I'm all ears...

Stressed Out

2009-03-13T23:00:00.000+09:00

I just realised that it's been almost 2 weeks since my last entry.
That's long! (that's what she said!)

The reason for the lack of updates is because I've started anonymous blogging. Well, it's not exactly anonymous cuz I have a pseudonym. There are some things on my mind which I can't talk about here. It's strange as I seem to be getting more readers there than I do here, or at least that's what I assume.

Anyway, my week's been a little hectic. Thank goodness the weekend's finally here! Sleeping before midnight is a luxury I can no longer afford. I've been getting off with 5 hours of sleep on most of the nights this week. Ughhh.. Comfort food, please? Chocolate chocolate, ice cream, peanut butter! Oooer... Okay off to bed now. Building on that extra layer of warmth in preparation for winter.

And hey, it's Friday the thirteenth today! Didn't we have that last month? Hmm...

Seven Bands

2009-03-01T17:00:00.002+09:00

When dark clouds blanketed the earth.

When sunlight was dimmed at midday.

When gloom settled in and all seemed dull.

When the silver lining could not be found.

And just as I thought that the day was lost to blight,

A rainbow brought hope.

Midnight

2009-02-27T18:30:00.002+09:00

So it took me 5 days before I finally realised, "Where's Zoe?". Zoe's our house cat. She's been around ever since I moved in 2 years ago, and now she's gone! Her absence is a long story for which I've no desire to tell here nor anytime soon. Oh well, it may be a good thing cuz at least there'll be less fur to vacuum off the carpet from now on.

It's strange how my lifestyle has changed now that I'm back down under. In fact, it all changed in a single night! Back home, I used to stay awake till 3-ish in the morning before I hit the bed. This was an everyday routine. This week in Australia, I haven't stayed up past midnight at all! I start to get drowsy by 10 and fall asleep an hour later, sometimes less. Amazing inn'it?!

I called Jin at midnight (KL mean time) which was 1am at Perth this morning to send her my birthday wishes. No, I'm not contradicting myself on what I said earlier about not staying up past midnight. I actually slept at 11pm last night and set an alarm to wake up at 1am to make that call. Seriously. Hee! A shoutout to Jin, Lemon and Vish - Happy Birthday! Hope you have a great one! :)

End of Summer

2009-02-20T22:30:00.000+09:00

It's over. 12 weeks of bumming around, finally over. The luxury of sleeping whenever I wanted to and doing whatever I wanted to whenever I wanted to has come to an end. The brain's rusty, time to get the whip cracking and back to work!

I'm having mixed feelings for returning to Australia. I'm excited to start the semester with the same old lecturers teaching new stuff. I'm happy that I'll be enjoying my student life yet again; the weekly routine of waking up early, walking to campus, attending classes, hanging out at malls on Thursdays, grocery shopping, and the works. I'll try to keep this post cheery and not talk about the sad and depressing parts; It's quite obvious what they are anyway.

Kanasai

2009-02-05T14:00:00.000+09:00

I remember the time when I asked an online friend what "kanasai" meant. It must have been at least 3 years ago, back when I was into online gaming. We would engage in small-talk and it's so frequent for that word to pop up during our conversations. Turned out that the Hokkien-term translates to "like shit".

How innocent I was (and still am, thank you); It never crossed my mind that "like" was used as a preposition instead of a verb. So I asked, "Why would anyone like shit?", and he started giving me simple examples - "That tastes like shit. You look like shit. She pwned me like shit."

Oh, okay! ...

I think it's so low to compare things to shit; especially after you've put it into your mouth. Really, shit? Why should anything even come close to that?

Ugh, sickening.

Lost Generation

2009-01-31T02:30:00.000+09:00

(click title for YouTube video link. 1:44)

It's a brilliant wordplay. I'd recommend checking it out before reading this post, but if you don't want to, it's fine. You'll still get the point of it at the end. Still as cool, so here it is...

------

I am part of a lost generation
and I refuse to believe that
I can change the world.
I realise this may be a shock but
"happiness comes from within"
is a lie, and
money will make me happy.
So in 30 years, I will tell my children
they are not the most important thing in my life.
My employer will know that
I have my priorities straight because
work
is more important than
family.
I tell you this.
Once upon a time,
families stayed together.
But this will not be true in my era.
This is a quick fix society.
Experts tell me
30 years from now I will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my divorce.
I do not concede that
I will live in a country of my own making.
In the future,
environmental destruction will be the norm.
No longer can it be said that
my peers and I care about this Earth.
It will be evident that
my generation is apathetic and lethargic.
It is foolish to presume that
there is hope.

And all of this will come true unless we choose to reverse it.

There is hope.
It is foolish to presume that
my generation is apathetic and lethargic.
It will be evident that
my peers and I care about this Earth.
No longer can it be said that
environmental destruction will be the norm.
In the future,
I will live in a country of my own making.
I do not concede that
30 years from now I will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my divorce.
Experts tell me
this is a quick fix society,
but this will not be true in my era.
Families stayed together
once upon a time.
I tell you this.
Family
is more important than
work
I have my priorities straight because
my employer will know that
they are not the most important thing in my life.
So in 30 years, I will tell my children
"money will make me happy"
is a lie, and
true happiness comes from within.
I realise this may be a shock but
I can change the world,
and I refuse to believe that
I am part of a lost generation.

-Jonathan Reed

Rags to Riches

2009-01-22T23:30:00.000+09:00

What does it mean to be rich? Is it all about staying in a 6-acre mansion; driving a Maybach or a Porsche; dining at fine restaurants; wearing high-end fashion apparels like Hugo Boss, Gucci, or Burberry; or flying first class and staying in five-star presidential suites while travelling?

I know that it's oh-so-often for one to be told that true happiness comes from within. Personally, I also believe that money will make me happy. I don't mean that I'll be finding joy drowning myself in luxury products and a lavish lifestyle. It's about having something, in this case money, and not needing it, rather than to need something and not have it. It's a simple term coined "financial security". Even if I can afford it, it doesn't mean that I'll buy it. Money will make me happy, but I do not rely on spending it to find happiness. That's just material happiness.

I believe that a person who saves more than 50% of one's income, instead of spending it all on inessentials, is the reason he/she is rich in the first place. I'm talking about individuals who start from scratch, not some rich tycoon's son who inherited the millions.

As Forrest Gump said, there's only so much fortune a man really needs, and the rest is just for showing off.

Ladies First

2009-01-10T23:30:00.000+09:00

So it's been awhile since I last posted something 'round here. Thought it should be time for the first post of the sparkling not-so-new 2009. 10 days down, 355 more to go~ Nah, pardon me; I shouldn't be counting the days, I should be making the days count. This could possibly be my final year in pursuing my education, my final year in Australia. Then again, who could predict what our future holds. I could land a job, work between play for the next 40 years or so, retire, and enjoy life for whatever its worth left then. Or I could work and play between my pursuit for an academic degree of a higher level, and settle down at a much later age. Ah, if only one could foresee the future. Hold on, scratch that; I take it back. All fun, surprises, and excitement would be lost if we just anticipated a known future. It's like watching a film twice.

Resolutions. Always made, rarely fulfilled. Hence why I made mine much simpler this year. It's mostly about being polite & courteous, like holding doors for ladies and such. It's not difficult, just often neglected. I believe that there's a fantastic reason the word "gentle" is placed before "men", apart from referring to the male gender at the washrooms.

I'm glad that my bruises from rafting have mostly faded. The bruise on my thigh was the worst. It expanded to a width of around 7 inches and 11 inches lengthwise. It was so horrendous I didn't even want to take a picture of it then, which I now regret. You know how things work these days; no picture, no proof - it never happened!

I got into a minor car accident last night. It's really minor, really. I'm fine. I know that heaps of people say this, but it really wasn't my fault! I was calmly driving along the street in front of my secondary school when this gold coloured Benz maneuvered into my lane without prior indication. While swearing with the S-word, I blared the car horns and depressed the brake pedal. Goldie hit my right side mirror, which shattered. I bought the parts for the repairs this morning and claimed compensation from Goldie's owner. See? It really wasn't my fault! Hella expensive though. I didn't know that a bloomin' side mirror costs 280 bucks! Seriously.

Sorrowful Lesson

2008-12-28T22:00:00.002+09:00

The mall was overcrowded, shoppers rushed from store to store;
Nobody paid attention, as she crouched there on the floor.
She didn't look in trouble, and she didn't seem afraid;
Apparently, she stopped to rest, she did not need my aid.

A little girl of eight or nine, and cute as she could be,
I wondered, should I stop and ask, if she needs help from me?
I wondered if her mother had just left her there alone,
I thought, as I walked by her, in my haste to get back home.

As I left the mall, I could not get her off my mind.
Did that little girl need help? Was I just acting blind?
It bothered me so much, I had to go back in the mall;
I had to get this settled in my mind once and for all.

The mall began to close, I heard some chain doors coming down,
But, as I looked, the little girl was nowhere to be found.
Is it my imagination, that again is running wild?
Thinking I had lost my change to help this poor lost child.

I guess she must be fine or she would still be sitting here,
I get way too emotional at Christmastime each year.
I had to leave and get back home, where it is safe and warm,
The weather forecast for that night, a chilling winter storm.

Late that night it happened, as the weather station said,
Frigid cold and heavy snow while I was snug in bed.
In the morning, I awoke to winter's nasty caper,
The only place I'd go that day was out to get the paper.

Cozy in my kitchen, with my news and cup of tea,
But as I saw the front page, it just devastated me.
On the front page down below, a little headline read,
"At a local shopping mall, a little girl found dead."

It was 4 A.M. this morning when police received the call,
The caller said a little girl was dead behind the mall.
It was the chilling elements that brought her close to death,
As she lay down, she fell asleep and breathed her final breath.

I could not read the rest of it, as I began to weep,
While I slept safe, a little girl had frozen in her sleep.
Many years have passed me now, but it still haunts my dreams;
Was the little girl they found the same one I had seen?

I can't forget that little girl, no matter how I try,
But now when someone seems in need, I never pass them by.
The lesson I have learned from this was difficult but true,
The last chance that someone may have could very well be you.

-James Kisner

Rafting at KKB

2008-12-22T22:30:00.001+09:00

Parents are back. It's all good. I was running out of cash anyway. Daddy felt particularly generous this evening. I believe it's the first time he's given me more than 4 notes at a go. Oooh.

Went white water rafting at Kuala Kubu Bharu with the sushis yesterday. The experience is indescribable! At the time, I thought I would never make it out of there alive, but now I feel at the top of the world for surviving! It was nothing short of fun! There were 7 of us, 11 including the guides, and I earned the award for falling off the raft the most times. Four! The first time, I pulled Milo down with me. The raft almost tipped over the second time, sending 4 of us into the water. The third time, I pulled Patricia down with me, and I was the only one who got bumped out the last time 'round. Twas hilarious! The third time was the worst cuz I fell out at the beginning of the longest rapid. I earned my battle bruises there, slamming into countless rocks and being constantly pushed underwater. I felt like I was in a washing machine filled with stones. Hmm, stone washing?!

The number of bruises I got in one day was more than I have in the past 5 years! No kidding. The parents, sister, and her other half stared at the bruise on my right thigh in horror. It's slightly ovalish, 4 inches in diameter. And that's only the bruise, the swelling area is much greater. The bro-in-law said it looks as though I was paddled by a pingpong racket. Oooh yeah, I'm masochistic!

=.=''

Since I survived, I would proudly say that white water rafting is awesome! Painful yes, but definitely awesome! The thrill of riding the rapids was super! Daddy said that he's interested to try it out. I laughed. Hey, but who knows? He's strong and healthy ... and daring; most of all, daring!

Tips for first timers: Go thirtsy!

Expensive Lesson

2008-12-19T23:30:00.000+09:00

Alas, the weekend's here! It has been quite an eventful week. Parents were away and I have been taking full advantage of the opportunity to hangout without the guilt. I've been packing on the extra pounds while my wallet's been losing weight. Sigh. Wouldn't it be great if it was the other way around?

I have to extend my endless gratitude to a particular friend from Perth; without her help, my social life back here in Malaysia would be zero. Why? Because I had been so overwhelmed with the joy of returning home that I so densely forgot to carry along my Malaysian identity card and driver's licence. It wasn't until a few days after my return that I realised their absence. Silly really, I was sorting through the cards and currency in my wallet, removing everything Australian; and ended up with a wallet with only Malaysian currency, and no cards. I frowned, confused, then a couple minutes later, eyes-widened, I started cursing repeatedly like a broken record. Anyway, thank you sooo much for sending them to me so promptly, and I apologise for the conveniences I've caused. I owe you a huge one! You know who you are~

Two Souls, One Heart

2008-12-18T00:30:00.002+09:00

Results are out. I did better than expected, but not what I had hoped for. Not complaining. Honestly, I'm overly pleased that I'm now officially in my third and final year. A step closer to my bachelor's degree! Wootzers! I'll need to work alot harder next year. It's always a risk that I laze off and lose concentration in the middle of the teaching term. I've been slacking so much it's a blessing that I've been rather consistent with my grades so far.

Would like to thank everyone for your kind sympathies during my grandmother's passing. The memorial went well, and I delivered a eulogy at the end of it. I thought that I'd been too emotional and would once again stir up some tears, but when I finished, everyone clapped and cheered. Holding back my tears, I took a deep breath; I smiled.

Holidays have been awesome! It's great to be home. I've spent a few weeks with mom before she started to ditch me to spend more time with her hubby. First, they went trekking at some lake, and now they're at the Big Apple where it's snowing. They'll be heading for Stockholm next, and yes, that leaves me alone at home! Anyway, the time I've spent with mom so far is priceless. I like how we'd be in either her room or mine and we'd laze on the bed or on a chair. Then we'd both gaze blankly at the ceiling or the wall and talk about everything. Money, power, sex, jokes, food, family, celebrities, school, the future, la de da...

It's great to be able to talk to mommy about stuff.
So really, I think my mom's kinda cool! :)

The Return

2008-12-05T00:00:00.003+09:00

*Peeks*

I returned to PJ last weekend and have been hiding at home since. Only managed to meet up with the bbff and Fendy for earthquake on Tuesday, and the sushis for mamak the day after.

Everyone's been complaining about how hot it is in Malaysia. Typical. When it's winter, people wish that it was summer; and when it's summer, people wish that it was winter. But me? Summer all year round please!! Yes, I love the weather. I absojollylutely love it! Sweat! I'm sweating! Yeay! I can't stand the bad air quality though. My nose has been all stuffy since the night I arrived and it's just so difficult to breathe! Eurghhh...

Reverse culture shock. Really. Never leave home without cash. I have to remind myself that there's no eftpos. I haven't driven at all, due to some unforeseen circumstances. Blek~ But being a passenger while daddy's behind the wheel has scared me enough. I can't believe how aggressive and uncourteous the drivers are; even daddy! Pedestrians have no right of way at all. Not even on the zebras. Wth?! And this evening I went to the night market with mommy and the brother. Bro bought a drink and when he finished, he threw it into the nearest bin at the housing area...and got told off for it! Apparently it was the house's bin, so he couldn't use it. Seriously, wtf?! So would it be more commendable if he just tossed it onto the street? Perhaps that's exactly what they would do. Fucken' ridiculous! (S'cuse me)

Anyway, I was too late to see grandma. I found out that she passed away exactly a week before my return, and that my parents hid it from me cuz my exams had just commenced at that time. *sniffles* I'm just very upset that I didn't have a chance to bid her my final goodbye. We'll be having a 2-week memorial for her this weekend. Don't worry, I'll pull through.

I will cry because she's gone;
But more importantly, I will smile because she has lived...

Spot the Differences

2008-11-19T19:30:00.000+09:00

Without the help of Google, or any other search engine or reference material/sources, do you know the difference between the following pairs of words? Be honest!
(v) marks the ones I know.

Sea and ocean (v)

Shower and bath (v)

Lend and borrow (v)

Cash and money (v)

Journal and diary

Picture and photo

Cup and mug

Perfume and cologne (v)

AIDS and HIV (v)

Poison and venom (v)

Contagious and infectious

Country and nation

Thief and robber (v)

Tortoise and turtle (v)

Frog and toad

Horse and pony

Mule and donkey (v)

Aircraft and airplane (v)

Ale and lager (v)

Group and team (v)

Laptop and notebook

Tuxedo and suit (v)

Fog and mist

Comet and meteor

AM and FM radio

~

I got 14 out of 25. How many did you get?

Cover Up

2008-11-19T00:30:00.000+09:00

Just got news from home that grandma is not doing too well, again. Her health has been deteriorating every week. Well, with skin cancer, it could only get worse. She was diagnosed with the disease in the first half of last year. Melanotic melanoma. From what we were told by the oncologists, it's one of the rarest forms of skin cancer and does not respond to radiation nor chemotherapy treatments.

My parents are worrying for me, so am I actually. You know, about the hereditary part. As much as I've been denying it, it remains a fact that I have fair skin, just like grandma. Not so much to be jealous of (or proud about) when I have someone in the family who has skin cancer, does it now? And to know that Australia has the highest incidence of skin cancer, and that Perth is the country's sunniest city doesn't make it any easier. Leaves me no excuse to not adapt to the SunSmart behaviour.

I know it's wrong to say this, but it haunts me to think that this summer might be the very last time I see my grandmother; that is, if I even make it home in time...

Flour and Sugar

2008-11-17T15:30:00.001+09:00

Despite being in the midst of my exam period, I still found some time to bake. Blueberry and yoghurt crumble! Being the first cake I've ever made from scratch, I must say it was quite a success. The amount of sugar used was sinful! I'm still amazed at how easy it was and how nice and evenly the cake rose. Beginner's luck?

That's Odd

2008-11-14T16:30:00.008+09:00

Homosexuality. Let's face it - Lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transsexuals, intersexuals, and queers are part of our society whether we like it, want it, or otherwise. They may be our family, relatives, friends, classmates, neighbours, colleagues, ... my point is, they're not that far away.

I believe that being queer (I use this word not for mockery, but because it is a term that encompasses many different alternative sexualities and gender identities) is NOT a choice. If you think it is, try sitting down with a queer and have a heart-to-heart talk with them.

Honestly, who would CHOOSE to be rejected by society, be discriminated against, have multiple religious groups going against them, have risks of being physically and mentally harmed, have less rights, lose family support and friends, be a target of insensitive jokes, be talked about as things among the law, have an increased chance of being led towards suicide, to lose one's chance at a rightful marriage, and to hide from everyone else?

Sexual preference is not a choice. It's exactly what it states: a preference. You either find Wentworth Miller, Julian McMahon, and James McAvoy sexually attractive or not. You either find Sophia Bush, Keira Knightley, and Elisha Cuthbert sexually attractive or not. You don't choose to find Wentworth Miller sexually attractive. You don't choose to find Sophia Bush sexually attractive. It is not a matter of choice. Your sexual preference are a given, and a reality you come to terms with.

Hope

2008-11-13T20:00:00.003+09:00

Morpheus was the Lord of Dreams, the personification of all dreams.

Choronzon was the Duke of Hell, leader of the underworld, the devil.

Choronzon acquired the helm of Morpheus from an occult, Sykes, who stole the helm from Morpheus. Decades later, Morpheus journeyed to Hell and entered a transformation battle with Choronzon to regain possession of his helm.

Choronzon: I am a dire world, prey stalking, lethal prowler.

Morpheus: I am a hunter, horse mounted, wolf stabbing.

I am a horsefly, horse stinging, hunter throwing.

I am a spider, fly consuming, eight legged.

I am a snake, spider devouring, poison toothed.

I am an ox, snake crushing, heavy footed.

I am an anthrax, butcher, bacterium, warm life destroying.

I am a world, space floating, life nurturing.

I am a nova, all exploding, planet cremating.

I am the Universe, all things encompassing, all life embracing.

I am Anti-Life, the Beast of Judgement. I am the dark at the end of everything. The end of universes, gods, worlds, of everything. And what will you be then, Dream Lord?

I am hope.

Closing The Doors

2008-11-11T17:30:00.000+09:00

Listening to - Only Hope (Mandy Moore)

I've recently removed a number of entries from my blog, mostly those containing personal pictures. Yes, it's gonna be quite dull from now on as I've decided not to upload my photos here anymore. I suddenly felt uncomfortable having my pictures up on my public blog. Ugh, perhaps my self-esteem is declining? I just felt like maintaining a certain degree of anonymity and mystique.

Even my facebook profile is now limited to 'friends-only', and I've deleted more than 200 contacts who randomly added me to their list. No more FC support for me! But at least now I know everyone on my list, or somewhat. There are still a handful whom I've yet to meet in person. That's alright cuz we still communicate, chat, or spam each others' wall. Online friends are still fine, as long as the link is not left idle. I hate it when random people add me up to "be friends" but we never exchange messages and end up getting stuck on each others' list for no apparent reason. That just defies the purpose of social networking sites. Dead-contacts as I call them. Don't know them, don't need them - *delete*. Gosh, I'm making myself sound really arrogant.

As weird as this may sound, I'm trying to expand my social circle by making it smaller. It makes perfect sense, though some may beg to differ. I would rather have 10 close friends than hundreds of acquaintances. It's like having a hundred of your friends lost in a sea of thousands of contacts. As I see it, quality over quantity! I don't want to end up losing a diamond while I was too busy collecting stones. Then again, I could be wrong. I'll just keep my fingers crossed.

What is Love? Part III

2008-11-09T14:00:00.003+09:00

Excerpts from a conversation with Vivian in April

I believe that love is a two-way thing. It only exists when the feeling's mutual. It is an extreme rarity to find two people who are equally in love with each other, at the same time and place, and live happily ever after. So, what are the rest of the human population going to do?

There are some people in this world who choose to devote their lives in making the person they love happy; so much that they don’t mind if he/she is giving more than one’s receiving. They simply find joy in it.

Love is not about marrying the person you love most. It is about which path you choose and learning to be content with the decisions you have made. There is no clear line being drawn between right or wrong when it comes to love.

Regrettably, more often than not, the plans for our so called "love"-life do not turn out as we've dreamed for. In most situations, strong feelings of affection are not returned, polygamy is involved, and/or fidelity is absent. Individuals get hurt and as a result, many are willing to settle for something (a lot) less than love, ie. security, gratitude, companionship. I see myself slowly deviating towards that direction.

Noone can know when you are going to find that true love you are hoping for, or whether you can actually find it or not. As much as we dream of it to be, love is not a fairytale.

The Prince of Egypt - When You Believe (Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston)

Broken

2008-11-08T22:00:00.002+09:00

Like a bygone star from heaven
glowing dimly in the sky
Like a soldier in the warfield
whispers to his wife "goodbye"

Like a wingless angel crying,
trying hard to find the light
Like a disregarded segment
of Utopia lost to blight

Like the scratches on a record
causing music to repeat;
To a verse that makes no meaning
when the song is incomplete

Like the heartbreaks that you find
Like the scars done to your mind

Three Bags Full

2008-11-05T22:30:00.002+09:00

I was abit preoccupied a minute ago, listening as my mom updated me about how a fluorescent tube sparked and caught fire in the wet-kitchen at home. And I don't know if it's just me, but I can't talk on the phone and chat on msn at the same time. Multiple msn conversation windows are fine, but when I talk on the phone, I can do only that and something else which is not communication-related. I'm a good listener; that's my excuse and I'm sticking with it!

Anyway, not wanting to just ignore Steven's message while I was in a call, I made a mindless reply which made me laugh when I reread it after I put down the phone.

Crepe Irony

2008-11-02T22:30:00.001+09:00

Would like to start this entry by congratulating & wishing my best to my cousins Jacqueline, Lynette, & Sze Ming. Jacq turned 21 on Halloween's; while on the 1st of November, Nette celebrated her 20th and Ming got married. Golly, I didn't even know that he had a girlfriend! Wasn't really close to him cuz of the age gap, but we've always acknowledged each other at family gatherings ever since he taught me how to gamble many Chinese New Years ago. Bad influence? Hardly. Gambling's in my blood.

And today's the 2nd, so... Happy Birthday, Elaine! :)

Getting to you - Many The Miles (Sara Bareilles)

I now understand why mom becomes positively mad everytime I rummaged through neatly pressed garments in my wardrobe when I'm home. Ironing is not a joke. Really. Today, for the first time in at least five weeks, I ironed my entire batch of laundry! Woohoo. My closet isn't cluttered up with crumpled and wrinkled clothes anymore ... for now. It's so nice when everything in my room's in neat order.

I experimented with crepes today, with the ultimate goal of creating a crepe cake *click*. Someday, someday.. I managed 4 tasteless crepes today. Thank goodness I didn't make the entire 20 sheets required for a cake. My next attempt shall be on Friday. More droolings can be found HERE. I'm trying to figure out the perfect egg-flour-milk ratio for the consistency of the batter. Hmm... Will keep my blog updated if I'm successful.

Procrastinators Unite! Part V

2008-10-31T21:00:00.000+09:00

Part V of this series has been postponed.

To be rescheduled, eventually.

12 Weeks Gone

2008-10-28T19:00:00.000+09:00

Silently praying - Nearer My God To Thee (Anne Murray)

It was the first death of a relative on daddy's side of the family since granny crossed-over 11 years ago. Mom has been updating me about things. During the funeral procession, true colours were displayed. I'm disappointed at my daddy's siblings who did not attend the wake or partake in the cortege. Bad feng-shui is not a valid excuse. I feel that it's an unacceptable behaviour to believe in things that will hinder one to pay last respects to the deceased. I'm ashamed to be blood-related to such people. Oh well, you know what they say: what goes around, comes around.

On a brighter note, the love and support showered by my mother's side has once again made my heart smile. Mom informed me that her siblings attended the wake till late. Immediately, I knew that they weren't only there to pay their respects to my late uncle, but were there for the main purpose of supporting their sister. I love my mom's family to bits. It always feel so warm and fuzzy when they're around. That's what a family should be like! Bad feng-shui shouldn't be an excuse to disrespect. In fact, I think it's bad feng-shui to disrespect for that matter.

Anyway, the academic term is coming to its end. Next week will be my final week of classes, followed by a week's break to study, and the much dreaded 2-week long exam period. I just finished a laboratory test for one of my biology subjects today. It was awesome, thanks to Sian! She did it last year and passed me her exam paper. Most of the questions were xeroxed!

Until We Meet Again

2008-10-25T23:30:00.003+08:00

Eyes closed - The Sweet By and By (Dolly Parton)

Uncle Ooi, daddy's brother in-law, has been fighting with & for his life ever since he was diagnosed with colorectal cancer 2 years ago. After what seemed like an endless battle, I received news from mom that the illness claimed victory.

With his family surrounding his deathbed, he took a last look at his darling children, his precious grandchildren, and his dearest wife before sighing his final breath. I can't possibly imagine the pain of grieving the death of a loved one. He will definitely be sorely missed.

I pray that he has now found peace, an eternity of solace without anymore pain nor suffering. My deepest heartfelt condolences to my aunt and cousins; I shall observe a moment of silence. Rest in peace, uncle.~

There's a land that is fairer than day
And by faith we can see it afar
For the Father waits over the way
To prepare us a dwelling place there

In the sweet by and by
We shall meet on that beautiful shore
In the sweet by and by
We shall meet on that beautiful shore

We shall sing on that beautiful shore
The melodious songs of the blessed
And our spirits shall sorrow no more
Not a sigh for the blessing of rest

To our bountiful Father above
We will offer our tribute of praise
For the glorious gift of His love
And the blessings that hallow our days

In the sweet by and by
We shall meet on that beautiful shore
In the sweet by and by
We shall meet on that beautiful shore

Arrogance

2008-10-21T19:30:00.003+08:00

(noun); an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.

Someone pointed out that whenever I'm on MSN messenger, I'm never the first to say hi. Sadly, I realised that that's quite true. Maybe not 'never', since I do initiate conversations sometimes, although rarely. I find that mindless chatting online, and instant messaging itself, has lost its novelty, and conversations usually end when someone finds it unproductive, less amusing, left awkward or speechless, and just fail to reply.

I was thinking about it during the hour break this morning with a cup of hot chocolate and a chocolate chip muffin. Why do I bother signing in if I'm gonna be all stuck up and not greet others who are online? I like it when others ask about my weekend or how I'm doing and all. It kinda shows that they have an interest in what I've been up to, more or less. So... Why am I not doing the same?

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
I always thought that I've lived by that phrase by not doing unto others things I would not want them to do unto me. Foolish really. I haven't been mean (at least I don't think I have) but I haven't been nice either.

Shall we dance? - Del Buen Ayre (Gotan Project)

I get annoyed when people tell me that I haven't called for a long time, and I'd usually snap them with "the phone goes both ways" line. How pompous can I get? Here they are, trying to be concerned about our friendship and lack of communication, and I say something to make them feel bad. Sigh.

I hereby pledge to make a change; to initiate conversations, however simple they may be; to be the one making calls instead of waiting; to be the first to say hi.

Pain

2008-10-20T12:00:00.001+08:00

Like a million cuts of paper
from a phonebook to your hand
Like a beggared starving roamer
in a sea of burning sand

Like a cancer patient dying
from the pain of the disease
And the victims of Titanic,
who were shocked by icy freeze

Like the damage from a car crash
breaking countless ribs and bones
Or the words that hurt your feelings,
they are worse than sticks and stones

Like the heartbreaks that you find
Like the scars done to your mind

Burn Again

2008-10-19T20:30:00.001+08:00

Jazz me up - Fever (Meiko)

Went to the beach yesterday and got my entire back sunburned! My front-side and other self-reachable areas were protected with sunscreen, just not my back. They should come up with a self-applicator for the back. Something like 'em back-scratchers.~ Hmm...

Anyway, it was really nice at Cottesloe, although no pictures were taken. At least not from my camera. Cottesloe's a favourite beach spot in Perth, and probably the best. Twas a good day to be at the beach. Clear blue skies with the sun shining brightly above. Warm sand and chilly cold water. Swimming and floating in the sea's a blast! I floated on my back in the rough sea, it was so fun it felt as though I was on a waterbed. Of course, there would be the occasional big wave which will push me underwater and make me gulp seawater. And there was a helicopter which circled like a vulture. Ai Xin said that they were probably checking for sharks! I was excited and scared at the same time; "Har? Really?!", and let my guard down for an oncoming monster wave which hit me and made me roll towards shore with it. Funny~ But yeah, it was likely and made sense for them to surveil the area cuz sightings and attacks have happened before at Cottesloe.

I hope to go there again before I return to KL this summer! Ooh... Must.put.on.more.sunscreen.!

In search of my SPF1000!

SPF one thousand. Reminds me of a really heart-warming story on Chicken Soup for the Soul about friendship. Okay, that's random...

Silent

2008-10-18T19:30:00.001+08:00

Like a feather drifting slowly
in the softness of a breeze
Like the creaking noise from steel gates
with their hinges dipped in grease

Like the stillness of a river
on a Sunday morning dream
Like a voiceless widow mourning,
wishing she could force a scream

Like the creeping of a burglar
on a frosty winter night
Like the darkness of a shadow
seeking shelter when it's bright

Like the heartbreaks that you find
Like the scars done to your mind

Wake Up

2008-10-05T20:30:00.006+08:00

Past addiction - Piano Song (Meiko)

When you're in love, the hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, love someone else. It's heart-wrenching. And if you really love that someone, the best thing to do in such a situation is to let go. Ouch! Talk about adding salt to the wound...

I'm not referring this to my love life, and I'm definitely not emotional right now. I just wanted to talk about it as a general topic. Probably been watching one too many real-life dramas of this happening.

So here we are spending endless nights which may last weeks, months, or probably even years, dreaming of that someone. You think of that person, day through night. Like Meiko's song that's playing on my speakers while I'm typing this;

Every little thing I do I do for you,
With every little thing I think a thought of you.
I try so hard not to notice, I try so hard not to care,
I try so hard not to know that you're not here.

You know everything about that someone. You know his/her interests and you try to make them yours. You know where he/she has been and what they've been doing over the weekend. You know when he/she is having a hard time. You know when he/she is struggling through assignments/work. You pray for them. You ask god to bless them, to see them through. You rejoice at their happiness and successes, and over the end of their hardships. You celebrate their accomplishments. You celebrate silently, alone. And that person doesn't even know you exist! Let's not even go to remembering birthdates. That same person, the person you worship day and night, struggles to remember your name!

One word: Pathetic! Wake up! You're not interested in that person. You just have this idea of him/her. Wake up! Have the nerve to admit it, and just leave them alone. Wake up! They won't know that they were your wish the night you saw that shooting star, or when you blew off the candles on your cake. They don't remember where you first met, or what you said and wore. They don't care if you're sad, or if you're not feeling well. Wake up! You're not part of his/her life!

... And they shouldn't be a part of yours. They don't deserve it.
Wake up!

You must not take what's not yours, and not give someone things which are not theirs. Wake up!

Playing Love

2008-10-05T10:00:00.001+08:00

The cadenza was confusing and abrupt. Complicated, yet meaningful. The sound of youth. Fun and laughter. Flowing, dreamy. The perfect opening.

And thus it begins, the beginning of the end. Calm and innocent, full of romance. Questions, answers. Ups and downs. Much enthusiasm. Repeat with embellishments. It climaxes. An argument, a loud disagreement. The matter resolved. Serenity restored. Full of character, full of life, full of love.

A promise that lasts. Years drag by. The increment of age. The tempo dawdles. The volume cushioned. The end draws near. Death, perhaps. Fingers intertwined, a genuine smile curves. Memories waltz ever so gracefully. Time stops. The sound fades to silence.

A true maestro.

Procrastinators Unite! Part IV

2008-10-04T23:30:00.002+08:00

The way I look at it, procrastination is very much like masturbation. It's addictive and it feels good. And then you realise that you're just screwing yourself. Go figure.

A Letter To BBFF

2008-10-01T21:00:00.000+08:00

You have been gone for almost 2 weeks now. Longer than I thought you would be. Where are you?

I is be missing you...
:(

What Words Can Say

2008-10-01T12:00:00.003+08:00

On very rare occasions would I only watch YouTube videos posted on the blogs I read, and it would be most exceptional to find myself doing the same on my blog; but this video is really out of the ordinary. I came across it on DaveyWavey's blog, and thought that it's something worth to share. Call me emotional or sensitive, but it moved me to tears. Honest!

If you have time to spare, please watch it. Share it if you think that it's worth so, and if you think that it's stupid, I owe you my deepest and most sincere apologies for wasting your bandwidth and a mere 6 minutes of your life...

A Few Of My Favourite Things

2008-09-30T11:00:00.001+08:00

1. Sundays
2. Sliced strawberries
3. The smell of freshly tumble-dried clothes
4. Lengthy hot showers
5. Taking pictures
6. CK fragrances
7. Blueberry flavoured chewing-gum
8. Pianoforte
9. The Simpsons
10. Futurama
11. Theatrical plays
12. Monopoly
13. Candles
14. Haunted thrill rides
15. Sara Bareilles
16. iPods
17. Bubble tea
18. Dirty dancing
19. Holidays
20. Starry night skies
21. Pornography
22. Pleasant surprises
23. Stardust
24. Sushi
25. Synchronized movements/actions
26. Cruise liners
27. Waking up before the sun
28. Greek mythology
29. A Capella
30. Prehistoric animals
31. Spirited Away
32. Chocolates
33. Slim-fit jeans
34. Contemporary music
35. IKEA meatballs
36. Velvet blankets
37. Christmas
38. Mariah Carey
39. Murni's maggi goreng
40. Rainbows
41. Cumulus humilis clouds
42. Warmth during winter & coolness during summer
43. Jazz & lounge music
44. Fireworks & pyrotechnics
45. The yellow-orange-red sky during sunset
46. Pizza
47. Coloured pens
48. Greyhounds & labrador retrievers
49. The freshness of clean, brushed teeth
50. Heavy rain

Chillin' to - All I Know Of Love (Barbra Streisand & Josh Groban)

More Than Just Numbers

2008-09-24T22:00:00.005+08:00

Shuffle - For Once In My Life (Michael Bublé)

Half your age plus 7.
Is that number less than the age of your partner?

If you answered yes, then you're dating someone too young for you.
Or are you...?

It's a rule of thumb to judge whether the age difference in an intimate relationship is socially acceptable. Reversibly, if you're dating someone older, subtract your age by 7 and multiply it by 2 to find out if you're dating someone too old for you. Neat'o!

Inevitably, the question of, 'who is "society" to judge whether or not someone is too young or old for me to date?,' will arise. I believe that it's just a matter of ethics and personal principles. Afterall, I did say 'rule of thumb'. So the whole half-your-age-plus-7 thing is just a rough estimation; A practical rule that's not based on the precision of measurement and science.

Half my age plus 7? Subtract 7 from my age, then multiply it by 2? That gives me an age range of 17.5 to 28 years. Okaaay... I find the thought of myself dating someone who's barely legal (18 years) rather revolting. And honestly, I wouldn't mind going out with someone who's 30. So there!

Do you agree with your "socially acceptable" age range?

Procrastinators Unite! Part III

2008-09-21T12:00:00.001+08:00

The top ten reasons why I procrastinate:
1.

Gamble of the Heart

2008-09-12T23:30:00.003+08:00

I listed out the outcomes.

If I lose; the sun would burn-out, stars would stop shining, endless rain, the sky would fall, time will stop, the end of the world.

If I win; sheer happiness, bliss, the perfect moment, I won't need to sleep anymore because reality would finally be sweeter than dreams.

It was a risk I was willing to take,
And I did...

I lost
... and all was silent.

I felt my heartbeat, I heard the clock ticking, I felt tears in the deepest part of my heart, to its very core. The moon dimmed, the stars went to sleep, and the sun awakened.

A new chapter, a new beginning.

The start of a new tomorrow has begun...

Escape

2008-08-27T20:30:00.000+08:00

so.freaking.tired.

Listening to - Tercipta Untukku (Ungu)

Spent the whole of last night working on a lab report. Finished at 6am.. And yes, you guessed it; twas due today! Sigh, when will I ever learn? And I had classes till 6:30pm. Ughh!

I kinda hate-love Wednesdays. Hate it cuz it class starts early and finishes late. Love it cuz if I survive it, then the rest of the week's a breeze. I survived today! .. and lovin' the next few days to come. I'll be going to Brisbane on Friday! Meeting the family there. Woot woots! They planned to visit while Kor's in his final stage of training there, and coincidentally I'm on a week's study break! Yeah, duh, it's a break from studying. Bite me.

Procrastinators Unite! Part II

2008-08-27T04:00:00.001+08:00

Why put off today what you can put off again tomorrow ... ?
*grin*

Procrastinators Unite!

2008-08-25T23:30:00.003+08:00

... Tomorrow.

There Is No ...

2008-08-24T12:00:00.001+08:00

Success without failure

Courage without fear

Innocence without guilt

Beauty without hideousness

Blessedness without sadness

Comfort without burden

Ease without pain

Calm without turbulence

Wealth without poverty

Advocacy without competition

Intellect without idiocy

Liberation without inequality

Enlightenment without confusion

Purity without contamination

Heaven without hell

Light without darkness

Day without night

Peace without war

Love without hatred

Life without death...

You Know You're A Facebook Addict When ...

2008-08-20T19:30:00.008+08:00

1. You have facebook bookmarked.
2. You have facebook on at least 2 explorer tabs at all times.
3. You can spend hours doing nothing on facebook.
4. You can spend hours doing something on facebook.
5. You stalk people on facebook.
6. Your friends take pictures and you tell them to upload them on facebook.
7. You say things like "I will tag you in this photo" after taking a picture.
8. You've created more than 8 photo albums.
9. You actually take the trouble to tag everyone in your photos.
10. You rely on facebook to remember birthdates.
11. When someone on MSN asks what you're doing, you say that you're facebook-ing.
12. You have facebook friends.
13. You've met your facebook friends in person.
14. It haunts you if you haven't logged in for more than 12 hours.
15. You think "poking" is a valid form of flirting.
16. You know what these are:
a) Friends for Sale
b) Likeness
c) Top Friends
d) SuperPoke!
e) Funwall
17. You refer to facebook as FB.
18. You check your account more than once every hour.
19. You spam & have conversations on walls.
20. Your usual bedtime has shifted by two or more hours.

ME?
... Guilty as charged.

Are you a facebook addict ... ?

Audio Indulgences

2008-08-17T23:30:00.002+08:00

I admit it. I'm a Sara Bareilles enthusiast! No, you may NOT not know who Sara Bareilles is. Why, she's Miss Awesome who sang Love Song, which I was, and still am, in love with. I'm also addicted to her other songs from her studio album 'Careful Confessions', and also the additional songs from her major-label album 'Little Voice'. Spent the entire evening drowning in her wondrous music.

My current favourite: Morningside <3

The Weight Of Waiting

2008-08-15T13:00:00.001+08:00

Everyday, people walk in and out of our lives. Some may step in and stay with us till the very end, and some may stay just long enough to leave a mark; others are briefly encountered and momentarily forgotten. There are also some who wait quietly in between; waiting indefinitely to make a moment that will last.

Likewise, we have waltzed in and out of others' lives countless times; being with a handful till the end of time, staying long enough to make a mark before departing with some, and been long forgotten by the others. However, we may also be waiting quietly, indefinitely, for the perfect moment...

Are You Waiting ... ?

Goodbye

2008-08-04T12:30:00.002+08:00

(noun); 1. a concluding remark or gesture at parting;
2. a taking of leave.

And hence concludes my 54-day long winter break! Endless thanks to everyone who'ave been keeping me occupied throughout its entire span, and for making my winter HOT!

Adrian, Alex, Alexis, Andi, Bryan, Cherina, Derek Tan, Derek Won, Daniel Fong, Daniel Yap, Dixon, Heikal, Ian, Irfann, Jasmine, Jo Weng, Johnny, Josh, Kah Hok, Kingsley, Klevin, Larry, Lee Jin, Me-Shel, Michael, Miloman, Nelson, Philip, Phooi Ching, Piggy, Piglet, Ryan, Sam, Sarah, Sheanne, Sotong, Sprina, Steven, Sue Lin, Susan, Vish, Vivian, Wei Keong, Wei Lead, William, Xin Li.

It was great hanging out with you all! I'll definitely miss our talk-cock-sing-song sessions, where we would laugh and talk about the silliest things; our lunch, dinner, supper and after supper sessions, where we would gorge down ungodly amounts of food eventhough we've said that we're not eating cuz we've already ate at home (yea right); our karaoke sessions, where we "sang" till we got laryngitis and our voices became hoarse; our movie sessions, where we watched the same movies over and over again cuz someone in the group hasn't watched it before and cuz we've watched everything else that's on; our shopping sprees, where we tried to resist temptation but ended up running out of cash and reaching our cards' limit; our ice-cream sessions, where we frequented Swensens on tuesdays and Baskin Robbins on the 31st for obvious reasons; Our sushi sessions, where we spend hours in the restaurant pigging out on japanese food and bottomless green-tea refills ..

Big apologies to those whom I didn't manage to catch up with this time 'round, namely the one whose initials are LSM .. You know who you are; you jumped on me! (like how I did to you last year) Hee~

Was so tired that I slept for 15 whole hours when I got back to Perth. (See mom? Told you I'll catch up with my sleep once I come back here) Have been sleep deprived for the past week. Minimal rest, maximal feasting. I remember a week where Piggy and I went for late night movies EVERY night, and finished off with supper at Murni's thereafter. Result: Gained at least 10 pounds. No joke! In the entire span of my break, of course. Piggy, however much you tell me that I look fine, the weighing scale does not lie! Now whenever I want to indulge in sinful comfort food, I shall remember ...

"5 seconds on your lips, 5 years on your hips"

Need

2008-07-29T22:30:00.001+08:00

(noun); 1. necessary duty: obligation; 2 a. a lack of something requisite, desirable, or useful; b. a physiological or psychological requirement for the well-being of an organism; 3. a condition requiring supply or relief; 4. lack of the means of subsistence: poverty.

(intransitive verb); 1. to be needful or necessary; 2. to be in want.
(transitive verb); to be in need of: require.
(verbal auxiliary); be under necessity or obligation to.

I need a new phone. Current one's been acting up. Hence why I sometimes fail to reply messages or answer calls. Excuse me. It's been giving me heaps of problems. And its pink skin isn't something I'm particularly proud to be caught with anymore. It kinda attracts attention, if you know what I mean. I need a device that allows me to communicate without difficulty. Ooh, my birthday's coming. Birthday pressie from myself to me? Possible.. Eventual...

I need a new wallet. Current one's too small, old and worn-out. I find it ironic though. I'm gonna spend money to buy something to keep the money in. Of which I wouldn't have anymore cuz I've already spent it. And to think that I'm spending so much money on something that's gonna be stuck in my ass-pocket most of the time. Ohh~

I need a new iPod. Current one's with the thief who stole it from me months ago. Music is my life, as it is with most people who have a life. I've had my heart set on the new generation of nanos. Paint mine metallic green!

I need a new number for my weight. Current one's big and ugly. I think I'm a bit obsessed with those numbers, but I refuse to believe that it's negative behaviour! It's time to keep up to this year's resolution! I've still 5 months to reach my goal~

I need new clothes. Current threads are fine, but it's so annoying when my entire wardrobe's stuck in the laundry! Time and money aplenty keeps Vin happy! ...
Vin is unhappy.

I need a new heart. Current one's closed, broken, and been burning with anger, envy & hatred. It's hidden beneath countless deep cuts, self-inflicted wounds, and cicatrices. My heart's held together with sticky-tape and bandaids. I've learned that the world's cruel and that I should only love myself and not share it with anyone. I need someone to teach me to love. But most of all, I need a heart that's open to love.

Scandalous

2008-07-22T17:00:00.000+08:00

Mmm... Darling, don't you wish we were married?

But we ARE! ... Or did you mean to each other?

Perfect

2008-07-21T20:00:00.003+08:00

You are so perfect, so beautiful through my eyes.
You make me always adore you.

With every step i take I will always think of you.
I can't imagine my life without your love.

You held my hands at times when i am weak and down.
You whispered words and drove my worries away.

Don't you ever leave me, I can't go through it all;
Only with you I may.

You are my blood, my heart, my life.
You complete me.

You're flawless, you're perfect.

MH128 MEL-KUL

2008-07-07T20:00:00.000+08:00

My last day in Melbourne. Flight's home tonight - midnight.

Dad called me 2 days back. Such a coincidence, my sister's in-laws are on the same flight as the one I'm on, ... AGAIN! Woots~! Shall be catching a ride home with them tomorrow morning. See, I'm helping the environment and daddy's wallet by carpooling.

It's been a spectacular vacation to the Eastern states of Australia and all I've to say for now is "17 days of winter well spent!"

MH149 KUL-MEL

2008-06-21T21:30:00.002+08:00

I'm in Melbourne!!

Silly me almost lost my boarding pass in KLIA right after I checked in. Was walking while talking on the phone and just before I approached the elevators descending to the immigration gates, I realised that my boarding pass was missing!! Thank goodness I managed to find them lying on the ground when I backtracked my steps. Woohoo!!

In my opinion, Malaysia's security metal detectors are way too sensitive. I went through it 3 times and it beeped on all three! I felt so violated being touched by the security. Ehh!!

Anyways, going out for yum cha now. Hwee hee!
More updates and pictures soon!

Winter in Malaysia

2008-06-11T03:00:00.001+08:00

Last of the last ~ The perfect time to run out of medication

Lack of updates. Why?

So much to say
So much to tell.
So much has happened.
So much to do.

So little time ..

What is Love? Part II

2008-04-25T02:00:00.003+08:00

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud, it is not rude. It is not self seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. Love never fails.

Love is friendship set on fire. Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. Love is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day. To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven. Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile. Love should be experienced and not just felt. Love frees us of all the weight and pain of life.

Sad to say, I'm lost in love. I don't think I have felt nor experienced romantic love towards anyone before. Familial love, yes - family & besties, you know who you are, I love you all endlessly! But romance is just a whole different thing and although I'm pushing adulthood, I still think that I'm not ready for it yet. Real mature, huh!

Maybe it's cuz I'm afraid. Of what? Things! Stuff! Of getting hurt or hurting others. Infatuations! Or you know what they say, "grass is greener on the other side". What if one finds someone better? Six billion, six hundred and sixty-three million, three hundred and ninety-nine thousand, five hundred and fifty six people in the world (According to the US Census Bureau at 11:50PM on April 24, 2008) - give and take a few. How do you find that ONE person? THE ONE to call your partner. THE ONE to have and to hold. THE ONE to be joined in Holy Matrimony with. THE ONE to walk the road of life together with. THE ONE to spend the rest of your life with. WAHRAO!

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.

~

I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss;
Four lips are the only things that touch;
Just find who you love through true love's kiss ...

If only it was that easy.

Another thing I don't understand is the class, culture, nationality, racial, skin-color, and religious barriers. So what if a member of the royal family and a commoner are in love with each other? Or if a Westerner falls in love with an Asian? Or if a French loves a South Korean? Or if a white is devoted to a brown? Or if a Christian shares intimacy with a Buddhist? What right do we, the common society, have to criticize? Cupid's arrow has been struck, the couple has been blessed by Aphrodite, LOVE has found a way. Who are we to question their hard-earned and newfound passion for each other?

Promiscuity in Relationships

2008-04-08T22:00:00.004+08:00

I've been listening to a rather interesting blogger, Dave, on youtube and one of the topics which made me put a lot of thought into was his insight on promiscuity and open relationships. If you're not familiar with the term, an open relationship is a relationship in which the couple agree to be together, but not exclusively. From what I know, an open relationship allows the couple to date, flirt, or possibly even hook up with other people. So I guess it's kinda like putting each other on hold to have an opportunity to look and see if there's someone better out there. But it's what happens at the end of the day that I'm keen to know. And I'm just gonna assume that you know what's promiscuity/promiscuous. If you don't then ... listen, you're in the age of the internet for cheese' sake; Google it or something. Anyway, here's what Dave said..

Q: Is there a difference between promiscuity and an open relationship?
A: Of course there is a difference. First of all if you're in an open relationship it doesn't necessarily mean that you're sleeping with other people. If you're in a closed relationship it doesn't necessarily mean that you're NOT sleeping with other people either. I'm sure there are plenty of promiscuous people in closed relationships that are cheating behind their partner's backs and I'm sure that there are lots of people in open relationships that aren't having a lot of sex. So yes, there is a difference.

I think what he said that if you're in an open relationship, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're sleeping with people, is the best point he made. Thus said, promiscuity does in fact mean that you're cheating on your partner.

Which made me wonder, can I be in more than one open relationship at the same time? Being non-exclusively attached to someone in an open relationship is like a way of saying "my partner and I are cheating on each other, so it's okay~". Weird. See now I'm confused. What are the perks of being in an open relationship when a couple isn't really a couple? Both have the "permission" to seek better partners and to leave the current one hanging there with no guarantees whatsoever. Why should it even be called a relationship if monogamy doesn't exist? Huhhh.. *scratches head* It sounds like it's just a sorry excuse to be in a so-called "relationship". So is there a difference between an open relationship and friends with benefits? Gosh why is it always all about sex? In my opinion, great & steady closed relationships can go perfectly well without sex, thank you very much!

Now ... is there anyone out there who still wants to date me?
*Rawwrrr!*

Darkness

2008-04-06T22:30:00.006+08:00

Have you ever wondered .. if blind people see in their dreams? If yes, what do they dream of? What do they see? And most of all, do they dream in colours?

A survey from a 52 year-old who lost her sight from diabetes said that she does see in her dreams, and that they are in colours most of the time.

How about those who were blind since birth? Do they have dreams? Do they have nightmares? What do they see in their dreams? Is it like the white-noise we get from the TV when the reception's bad? Or do they see rainbow colours slurring around like they're on drugs? I'm so curious to know. Anyone?

Sex Could Kill You

2008-04-03T23:30:00.003+08:00

Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex?

Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere and secretions spit out of every gland, and the muscles tense and spasm like you’re lifting three times your body weight.

It’s violent, it’s ugly, and it’s messy, and if God hadn’t made it unbelievably fun .. the human race would have died out eons ago.

My Inspiration: The Loser

2008-03-29T16:00:00.000+09:00

It was in 2005 when Ms Joy, my GP teacher for A Levels in Sunway, gave us the handout containing the story - The Loser. Out of the hundred and one handouts she gave us, the title of this one caught my attention and if I'm not wrong it's also the only one which I read *So that's why I didn't get an A in GP!* Anyway, it was an excellent read and it completely changed my perception towards life, failure, and giving up. Although some may beg to differ, failure is probably the greatest demotivator. You know how they always tell us to not give up easily in whatever we strive for; Come on, don't you remember them drumming the line "jangan putus asa" into our fragile little minds since primary school?! Then as we grow up, we all know that it's easier said than done. Not impossible though, just hella difficult. Okay, coming back to the loser. If you've never read/heard of it, here's how it goes ...

The Loser

The late Earl Nightingale, writer and publisher of inspirational and motivational material, once told a story about a boy named Sparky.

For Sparky, school was all but impossible. He failed every subject in the eighth grade. He flunked physics in high school, getting a grade of zero.

Sparky also flunked Latin, algebra, and English. He didn't do much better in sports. Although he did manage to make the school's golf team, he promptly lost the only important match of the season. There was a consolation match; he lost that too.

Throughout his youth, Sparky was awkward, socially. He was not actually disliked by the other students; no one cared that much. He was astonished if a classmate ever said hello to him outside of school hours.

There's no way to tell how he might have done at dating. Sparky never once asked a girl to go out in high school. He was too afraid of being turned down.

Sparky was a loser. He, his classmates...everyone knew it. So he rolled with it. Sparky had made up his mind early in life that if things were meant to work out they would. Otherwise, he would content himself with what appeared to be his inevitable mediocrity.

However, one thing was important to Sparky - drawing. He was proud of his artwork. Of course, no one else appreciated it. In his senior year of high school, he submitted some cartoons to the editors of the yearbook. The cartoons were turned down. Despite this particular rejection, Sparky was so convinced of his ability that he decided to become a professional artist.

After completing high school, he wrote a letter to Walt Disney Studios. He was told to send some samples of his artwork, and the subject for a cartoon was suggested. Sparky drew the proposed cartoon. He spent a great deal of time on it and on all the other drawings he submitted. Finally, the reply came from Disney Studios. He had been rejected once again. Another loss for the loser.

So Sparky decided to write his own autobiography in cartoons. He described his childhood self - a little boy loser and chronic underachiever.

The cartoon character would soon become famous worldwide. For Sparky, the boy who had such lack of success in school and whose work was rejected again and again, was Charles Schulz.

He created the "Peanuts" comic strip and the little cartoon character whose kite would never fly and who never succeeded in kicking a football - Charlie Brown.

This made me want to cry. Who's never heard of Peanuts or Charlie Brown. Ermm.. You know the beagle? Snoopy? Yeah, that .. Charlie Brown has been the butt of jokes and I've always had a good laugh at his ... well, stupidity. I'm mean. And now I feel so bad that his character is actually based on a life-version of himself.

*insert upside-down smiley here*

Anyway, the part that hit me most was that even Disney Studios rejected him. Walt Disney! Disney's supposed to be like THE ULTIMATE dream of all dreams and fantasies, and that they would instantly recognize talent when they see one ... or so I thought. I'm disappointed.

I like the happy ending though .. that Charles Schulz DID make it in life, and no matter how much of a loser he or Charlie Brown was, hey they both are pretty darn famous now! Who would've thought...

*insert downside-up upside-down smiley here*

"The little cartoon character whose kite would never fly and who never succeeded in kicking a football - Charlie Brown."

What is Love?

2008-03-28T23:30:00.002+09:00

Love is not negotiable. Love is a guessing game, and that's the beauty of it. There's no guarantees. It's like diving into a pool of water without knowing if it's shallow or deep .. and sure enough if it's shallow, you end up hurt and paralyzed from neck-down; but if it's deep, you know it's endless.

It's a leap of fate. It's like throwing yourself out there without any guarantees.

You know those carnival games? You know how some are so hard to win and some of them are so breezy everyone wins? That's the difference between love and sex. Sex is the game where everyone wins a little prize and noone goes home a loser. Love is the game that's really hard to win, but if you do and you get to take home that life sized stuffed rhinoceros, it feels a whole lot better than taking home that shitty plastic key-chain.

Love hurts sometimes when you do it right.
Love is an emotion made up of fumes of sighs.